11 Simple Reminders for Mental Health Boundaries
An increase of physical boundaries can mean a decrease in emotional boundaries, even if unintentional. In these strange times when we need to create more space between bodies, it’s important to remember to create a little more space for your own mental health needs and boundaries as well. Here are a few simple reminders for holding boundaries and honoring your mental health during all of this:
Speak gently and with compassion. A lot of people have particularly raw nerves right now from stress and trauma responses, which means everyone may be more reactive than usual. Remember that you don’t know where someone else is coming from, and try to speak (or type) gently to them.
If you find that you simply can’t speak gently with someone, but they are triggering your fighting response, it may be time to eliminate the conversation altogether and walk away. Proving a point isn’t worth the extra stress.
On that note, don’t feel bad if you need to step away from interactions altogether. Cutting out social media to some extent is always a good idea, and more and more sensitive people are limiting their exposure because of this. You may be taking on more information and energy than you realize.
If you need to talk to someone about your struggles or the problems you’re facing, always ask the other person if they have the time and emotional space to listen to you, before launching into things. It’s incredibly important to reach out when you need support, and also remember that with shot nervous systems, it can be easy to trigger someone else. If the other person says they don’t have the space at the moment, respect it. If you have friends or family that don’t use this practice, start using it anyways. By you asking if they have space for you, you’re showing them through example how you would like to be treated as well.
People won’t always return the favor though in terms of respecting space. In this case, try to limit unplanned conversations. Let calls go to voicemail. Don’t respond to DMs, or let them know you’ll get back to them when you can. You should get to choose when you take on someone else’s energies.
If you’re on medication for mental health or chronic health reasons and need to either up your dosage, add a medication, or even start one for the first time, there is no shame in this whatsoever. No one else gets to have an opinion on how you take care of yourself. Everything that helps you is a tool, and you’re allowed to adjust how you use those tools whenever you need or want to.
What is focus? Do you have it still? I for sure do not have it. It’s okay if you’re not feeling as focused or motivated lately. Have extra compassion for yourself. Whenever possible, limit your information intake to small digestible bits and don’t force yourself to try to take in more.
Get back to basics when taking care of your body. Food, sleep, breath, and movement. For those of us with high trauma loads, we are often really great at using our mental tools when anxiety rises up, but with limited physical and social activities, our bodies can easily be triggered and begin to collect that anxiety and cause trouble, even launching your body into panic attack responses without a clear emotional trigger. Focusing back on the body is essential.
Gaining or losing weight is not a moral issue. Let’s not obsess over it please, especially not during such insanity.
Since your usual physical activities may not be available, or you’re simply struggling to find motivation for activity and the novelty of living room dance parties have passed, try some somatic movement practices. Move your body slowly and hold it in positions that feel good. What I like to do is use my faux fur rug to kneel and lay on, in front of the fireplace (so soothing for me), and think about trapped emotions rising to the surface. I imagine them leaving my body with various movements. I like to move my body in S shapes to get my energy flowing. I usually begin and end in child’s pose because it’s so comforting. Just do what feels easy and natural. No worries if you’ve never done it. Even holding one arm above your head and taking one deep breath feels weirdly good.
NATURE. Get back to basics with nature. Sunshine. Candles. Baths. Be barefoot in the grass. Breathing deeply next to a tree. Any easy thing to focus on for just a few moments that connects you to the elements of nature makes a difference. The elements can help pull out excess energies caused by mental overstimulation, and make you feel more connected to your body.
Sending you love, compassion, and gentle light as you move through these waves.
Be Gentle With Yourself
How can you be gentle with yourself? Ask yourself “How can I feel softer? How can I make my experience of the world feel softer right now?”
It’s been intense out there. There have been big losses and big wins this week, but in both cases, they have been hard fought. You’ve paid with your energy, with your fight, with your fire, with your boundaries. You’ve pushed yourself further than usual, for all the right reasons, but it still depleted you. You might be feeling a bit raw. So it’s time to be gentle with yourself as we move into the solstice this weekend. Let yourself recover a bit from all the work as you welcome the light again.
How can you be gentle with yourself?
Ask yourself “How can I feel softer? How can I make my experience of the world feel softer right now?”
Literally seek out soft things in your physical environment. Snuggles in fuzzy blankets. A warm bath. Clothes that are comfortable. Warm, soft winter foods, hot teas, and cool water.
Allow yourself to stray from your routine if your routine feels too harsh. Make those accommodations for yourself without guilt, and allow yourself to accept more help from others. Receiving is key.
Adjust your social media and entertainment intake. If all the extra information feels sharp and anxious, pull back. If you usually avoid it but it makes you feel comforted or connected, indulge more.
Give yourself more time to do nothing. “Productivity” can often be the killer of softness because productivity is the art of slicing and building with precision and intent, while rest is following rounded edges and stillness. Productivity is a triangle and rest is a circle - reflect accordingly.
Notice what level of touch your body needs to feel soft and safe. Would it feel more gentle to be untouched? To be held? Keep track of how it feels, since it can change from moment to moment.
Remind yourself that it’s okay to be whatever you are. Feel whatever you feel. Don’t try to change your thoughts or behaviors right now, just allow yourself to add softness to whatever those thoughts or behaviors are. This is the art of seeing yourself and meeting yourself where you’re at.
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Have a wonderful holiday week and if you’re still looking for a gift for you or a fellow sensitive, go pick up my book I Don’t Want To Be An Empath Anymore. :)